Shrink's Views

ramblings of an unknown psychiatrist

The Woman in Your Life

Posted by Dheeraj Kattula on January 11, 2010

Dr Dheeraj MD (Makes Dishes)

A very good friend of mine forwarded me an email titled “The Woman in Your Life”, which goes like this:-  (I have deleted all the beautiful photographs that the email had.)

To all the guys who read this…..please read fully and understand………….. 

To all the girls who read this……….. An excellent forward……please read fully….. and forward to the boys you know……….

This is a beautiful article:
The woman in your life…very well expressed…

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;  who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents and brothers and sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name…

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day one, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this……

Please appreciate “HER”

I liked the stuff.In fact I felt if this was the ideal that people are looking for, then maybe I am one of the most eligible batchelors around 🙂 I have added my take on each of the points made.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;  who is earning almost as much as you do;

Of course I might marry an equally educated girl, who earns as much.(Preferably more.) 🙂 What should be the problem if all the money anyway comes to the home kitty?

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

Of course, she should dream (preferably of me 🙂 ) and have aspirations (to balance work and life).

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

Thank God my sister and I did well in the kitchen, just as we did in studies. Problem is nowadays people are not giving weightage to culinary achievements in marriage market!

One, who has lived and loved her parents and brothers and sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life; One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name…

She could maintain her relationships with all her brothers, sisters, cousins and parents just as I am sure to maintain mine. Only that it would be great if she could incorporate my circle into hers.I would try my best to incorporate hers into mine.I can only hope she does not come from a family which she was glad to leave! Of course she is welcome start a family with me. She and I would be the family. Together we would relate with others as individuals and families. She is welcome to continue to keep her family name also. She is expected to just add mine like Aishwarya Rai Bacchan.

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day one, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen.

I could give my spouse free tutorials in cooking till she overtakes me in all the culinary skills. I would profusely appreciate when she becomes better than me.If you don’t believe that I could cook look at the pic in this post.(Don’t I look like the master chef 🙂 )

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;

She better make the tea and coffee and not complain. That is something I would expect :-/ She should understand that I am dependent on Caffeine. She should help me in the withdrawal phase. If she does not, then she would see the symptoms of withdrawal i.e. irritability, anger outbursts etc. Of course, I would make these if she were tired. I can very well understand that if I did’nt then I might have to see signs of her tiredness i.e. irritability, anger outbursts and throwing things!

to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to;

We could conseider, employing a servant (depending on our finanaces). She cannot stop being a woman if she wanted to. She would stay a mother and a wife whatever be her choice. Do I have a choice to not be a dad and a hubby in a marriage with children?

and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her;

I hope that learning is continuous as we have Continuing Medical Education (CME).This could be called Continuing Marital Education. 

and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

If she is clumsy and sloppy, she is welcome to my gang. If she demands anything, she will get it.(Anything = Nothing). I know demanding would die out without reinforcement. Learnt it in college.It is called behavioral therapy. If she learns faster than me.I ll be proud of her and would transfer some of my assignments to her and tell her to teach me. I am a better auditory learner. In that bargain, she might win some rewards for helping me 🙂

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Oh Please spare me of that.Let her have all those friends as I would have mine. I hope because of her jealousy I might not have to delete my ancient friends recently found on orkut and facebook. If possible, her friends could be our family friends. If not, they would remain hers. Why should I be jealous of her friends? They may be better looking, better earning, more successful etc. So,what? I am a happy man. I would not trade my happiness for money, success or looks. That is why I prefer to eat than to excercise, learn rather than earn, be with people rather than papers. Cool.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise

If she drank, you think she could become my wife? :-/ If she dances, then that will keep her in shape 🙂 I would appreciate that.I might join her and get back in shape!

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

No problem.I could enjoy an extra hour of solitude or time with my kids. I could surprise her by cooking a new recipe 🙂

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

Of course I would. The same applies to me too .Is it not?

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

I would not only love her, I would also pity her. She would have to bear with me much more than I might bear with her ! 🙂 ( This is secret.Shhh…)

But not many guys understand this…

Do you still think so? !

Please appreciate “HER”

She would get lots of this. This is a lot cheaper than buying gifts 🙂

Now, what is your take ?

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18 Responses to “The Woman in Your Life”

  1. Julie said

    Hey cool show da!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Super Guy !!!!!!!!!!!
    All girls who read this will go ga ga ga ga……..!!!
    Superb pose da…………. do u really cook???

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Of course I do cook.I am not as talented as Deepthi,my sis.I cooked Coconut Chicken without using a drop of oil that day.I ll do that in your house, when I come next. We can feed the sheep 🙂
      I learnt the dish from a Mallu Didi. I modified the recipie a little bit though 🙂
      Anyway thanks for that forward.You should get that credit 🙂

  2. Sudha said

    “The lady doth protest too much, methinks!” William Shakespeare

    My personal impression after reading your piece is that you are ready, oh so ready, for marriage! Eligible girls please apply 🙂

    Dheeraj, Ever tried cooking an entire meal dressed like that? Chances are you will look like something the cat dragged in by the time you are ready to eat!! Cardinal rule is change into something lighter and airier!

    Unless you were making raita!!

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Akka,
      You are insulting me, if you say I can only do raitha.:-)
      It is so cold out here that I started wearing a blazer for work! (in a rural mission hospital!) Be glad I removed it in kitchen.
      All applications will be forwarded appropriately and filed.They will be considered when time comes 🙂
      Again I must appreciate your humour.You are cool, Akka.

  3. srujun said

    Hey Anna,
    What is happening here? This is like an advertisment!
    I think you are in a hurry.
    huh
    but nice, anna.
    I liked the forwarded message.
    I dont mean, I didnt like your explanation. I liked it the most because, it is one of things I always say to myself (as a bachelor) and want to realise everything which is written in that quote. I would love to,
    but i am not sure. Will I be like God? There may be times I have to go contrary to my will, but I hope I remember and act accordingly.
    ha ha ha ha

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Dear Srujun,

      I am glad you want to really live the way we ought to to.Many males, unfortunately do not want to. Thank God,we have got transormed in certain ways.We will never be ideal chaps.But we at least try…
      I am in no hurry.Btw, you know that.I were in a hurry I would have tried to work our something.Isn’t it?
      Also, thanks for the cooking lessons and the fellowship you offered by cooking together in Siva anna’s house. We can start that again when I am back in Odc.
      Hope you are studying well…Hmmm

  4. AMN said

    “If you don’t believe that I could cook look at the pic in this post.(Don’t I look like the master chef 🙂 )”

    Dr.D, White shirt and tie is not the most ideal attire for the kitchen! Me thinks you’re posing for the photo, unless you are ready to give me a sample of said coconut chicken 😉

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      I did cook like that on that day. I came from work and started to cook.Of course I changed half-way through. That dress was not meant for kitchen. You might ask, why need I wear a tie for work in Baripada! I wanted to get used to a tie and a suit, which I wore during the ANCIPS conference. Also that Baripada does get quite cold in winters.

      If you ask me if I do really cook…Yes, I have recently learnt few principles of cooking. I might get interested in sharing few tips in the blog ;-). Day before yesterday I cooked chicken in one anna’s place. It was cooked without the use of oil, on the stove! I can share the technique/ recipe with you, if you want 🙂

  5. AMN said

    Marital bliss

    Man’s view
    http://www.arcamax.com/andycapp/s-680823-220543

    Woman’s view
    http://www.arcamax.com/hagarthehorrible/s-681436-670987

    😀

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      I can laugh more at the joke from man’s perspective.
      The one from woman’s perspective gives me palpitations.

      🙂

  6. LOL anna!!! didnt know you were SO ready for marriage.. Dont forget to send me an invite (and to & fro flight tickets too :P) 🙂

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Of course I would invite you.
      Btw I am not in a hurry.If I were I would have got fixed by now.Right?
      Life is cool.

  7. Kannan said

    Good Ad from and eligible bachelor…..

  8. Vineeth said

    Awesome one …..
    I will give this blog framed as a gift on your marriage 🙂
    so that your wouldbe wife is aware how open are you in your thought Process…
    and she can ensure that you follow what has been written here….(LOL im rolling on my bed imagining how it would be)
    My best wishes for your pursuit of a girl who would be just like the one you mentioned ,i quote
    “Of course I might marry an equally educated girl, who earns as much.(Preferably more.) What should be the problem if all the money anyway comes to the home kitty?

    Of course, she should dream (preferably of me ) and have aspirations (to balance work and life)”
    -vineeth

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Thanks Bro for taking time to read through the blog.I know you are a busy man.
      Thanks for the comments 🙂 Looking forward to your gifts 🙂
      Love,

  9. deepa said

    Ha ha!!

    well,well, well…. All I can say is that Marriage is awesome! It is great to see bachelors with such positive attitudes to marriage. Most of the time, people (friends) tell you marriage is the the beginning of the end of your freedom and stuff like that. But in a christian marriage, it only brings freedom!!

    • Dheeraj Kattula said

      Ya.Sure.It gives freedom.The good thing is that every one can use the biblical principles and make their marriage work.

      On the lighter side, I would say that I ll continue to have freedom…but she might loose hers 🙂 …Kidding

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